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Desolation Horse

by Desolation Horse

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1.
it starts in the middle outside the strip mall you got it all groovin' your lips are chapping but the chapstick is melted a bullet of cherry glitter in your pocket your flip-flops are crooked and the night is hot alright, you back up to one week ago can you say where you were what you were doing? there is something that you've noticed in yourself but tonight you don't feel like moving that feeling stretches back like a creek or a seam all the way to the beginning there's a sense that you're in some kind of struggle but the adversary's hidden so you start with a thimble of hope that you will or won't turn out like a certain someone yeah, you know it's kinda vague but you've never bought into new year's resolutions cause if your tanktop is crooked you just straighten it out I guess it's just one of those things: when you try to explain it you feel like a hot mess yeah, you try to put it into words it turns out no wording's perfect all you know is there's a feeling that you're chasing but it's impossible to pin down and inside that feeling is the key but the chase has left you worn down Ooo, little heart, little heart, come on you can't live off of one emotion you need some bread, water to get better simmer in some better weather turn back into a person when the feeling starts in the middle go back to the top how does it feel? it starts with the feeling that no matter where you go or what you do you always let someone down but every time you try to readapt yourself it solidifies that notion you feel this way every time you feel anything so you wouldn't call it a meltdown it's just funny to think about how everybody seems confident in their emotions you stand up too fast walk out of the party reeling it's that good old-fashioned feeling of falling apart your cheeks are burning your hands are cold it's evening, it's morning how does it feel? how does it feel? everyone was incredible everyone was incredible we were tired of listening we got so inflexible everyone was brave everyone was incredible
2.
staring at the water never really knowing everywhere I go, there's a shadow more or less what is left everything is the same after the mourning the chapel the noises of the gun the breathing desolation everywhere I go there's a habit in my hand there's a chair in a corner facing in there's a sensation of falling setting in there's a gut-wrenching feeling that you can't begin but there's a general understanding that you can't give in can I give in? I'm waiting for a ride I'll go where they go quickly, slow everything remains after the feeling of dying blinking the rain away desolation everywhere I go is there a reason besides finding the reason to live I read a book about it I couldn't think about it some people can I wanna be them I wanna be able to find the reason when the reason's getting thin there's a gut-wrenching feeling that you can't begin there's a general understanding that you can't give in can I give in? you wake up in the winter and the air is thin but the air gets thicker as the year sets in can I breathe in? when the sun comes calling you can finally grin but the year starts falling and the grey gets in can I give in? yeah you know the feeling the general understanding that you can't give in can I give in? can I give in? can I give in? can I give in? can I give in?
3.
I was driving the '89 Horizon when I pulled up there was a figure by the gate now, this is way back sleeping next to the Maytag and our first hello was just the other day we said something and went in had a coke in the kitchen it was 3am but you were wide awake you said: "I really am blue, baby do you think it's the cocaine? either way it's just a ripple on the wake see here we are holding on like our lives aren't already gone feels like everything is moving far away" we gotta move, baby we gotta do, babe it's all about you, baby we gotta do something right later that morning I was seeing a friend of mine it was 5am but she was wide awake in a pitch blue bedroom Marlboro and perfume at the time I felt I had to see her face she said: "I really am blue baby thinking about time's weight and the way the light reverses down the drain we can't get that time back I hope you know that I can't help but think about it every day" we gotta move, baby we gotta do, baby it's all about you, baby it's all about you, baby it's all about you, baby we gotta do, baby we gotta move on we gotta do something right it's all about you, uh-huh we gotta do something right now
4.
the apartment was cold and clean my horse was parked outside by the air conditioning I had in my hand a hand attached to an arm to a neck to a body the body was cold and clean the smell of the mouth reminded of a lobby from my youth in a church new carpet and coffee when the face opened up and from behind the teeth a man came crawling 5. Crumarine Creek they take their time it breaks when you bend it you tear your eyes from the place where it ended you try to find the lighter they lended you once you speed on 6th in a futile act of recklessness and you drive and you drive till a glow gets into the gas light and it seems in your dream there's a lens through which you see your body asleep at the family property Crumarine thistles and whistle trees you get up in your sleep and the branch looks like a light beam but you turn and you run till the glow's no longer lightning that's how we'll get away, we'll pull away our eyes that's how we'll run away, we'll pull away our eyes
5.
they take their time it breaks when you bend it you tear your eyes from the place where it ended you try to find the lighter they lended you once you speed on 6th in a futile act of recklessness and you drive and you drive till a glow gets into the gas light and it seems in your dream there's a lens through which you see your body asleep at the family property Crumarine thistles and whistle trees you get up in your sleep and the branch looks like a light beam but you turn and you run till the glow's no longer lightning that's how we'll get away, we'll pull away our eyes that's how we'll run away, we'll pull away our eyes
6.
baby, I had someone on my mind I'm sorry I didn't show you a good time you said: do me in the morning to my face, that was bold I smiled, probably closed my eyes but I'm cold and empty empty as The Alley on a Monday night I sold my Graceland shirt for a PBR to a girl younger than me and I never drank it I still picture her in that shirt in that bar on that Monday night good god, her smile I wonder why I still think about Katie the same Katie who disappeared, or I guess we disappeared ourselves I'm not hunting for anything I just wonder why thoughts of people I chose not to love always come back to haunt me how many times do I have to fall in love for the first time to realize what it taught me? how many times do I have to walk home alone to know what that really means? choices: it's either loneliness or heartbreak or a little bit of both oh boy, oh no, I'm mean I'm okay but every time I think about it I feel like I'm dying I'm gonna go out tonight and find the girl in the Graceland shirt I'm gonna walk right up and ask her to pinch me wake me up, I know I was just talking about acting too soon but this time is different just like every time and who knows maybe she'll buy me that PBR after all Goodbye, nylon Graceland t-shirt I wore you one time you're going to a better place Katie, I had someone on my mind someone, someone my heart left behind do you hate me? I saw it once in your eyes I'm sorry, I had someone on my mind
7.
I don't wanna sit around I wanna play in a travelling band I got a drum kit now you got a Superchamp I used to wake up at sunset marijuana and white bread go a week in the back room with your shirt off that's a bad place to start if you're looking for anything I don't wanna settle down I got somewhere to be let the rain come down I got a raincoat now I used to wake up at sunset...
8.
I'm not saying I love you I'm just saying do you wanna watch a movie in the kitchen Hold up, it's gonna get rough if we keep waking up together I know that we both know better I thought you were a shy one but the second time I kissed you it was topless for a camera on a Monday such a strange way to make a new friend a pretty good friend a little freaky a little stoned a little tired of waking up alone I'm not saying I love you I'm just saying can I get a ride my license got suspended I'm not saying I need to but can I come up for a beverage cause my place is a disaster hold up, I need a camera I wanna hold you I wanna take you to the pictures I'm gonna miss you but in my pocket I'll have your picture

about

Recorded in 2018 at Olaf's house in Astoria, Oregon, and The O.K. Theater in Enterprise, Oregon. Released on American Standard Time Records in collaboration with Eat Local Records!, and Water Promise Records.

credits

released December 11, 2020

Cooper Trail - Instruments, Vocals
Luke Ydstie - Bass (Tracks 2, 7, 8)
Aly Hanson - Vocals (Track 7)
Jeremy James Meyer - Harmonica (Track 3)

Produced / Engineered by Olaf Ydstie
Produced / Engineered / Mixed / Mastered by Nevada Sowle

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Desolation Horse Astoria, Oregon

"...stream-of-consciousness lyrics and twinkly, lo-fi guitars as expansive as the ocean on his doorstep." - NPR

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